Bloody Hell, I’ve Been Thinking Again…

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I’m tired.  A 10 day stretch at work doesn’t do much for the wellness of my mental clarity.  I need breaks, bubble baths, couch time, and book life for a sort of reboot into sanity every now and then.  Otherwise I tend to stray away into a loopy, laughy, contemplative behavior that usually does nothing but make sleep more difficult and soundness nonexistent.  So my schedule has been crazy, and therefore my mind has started a loop of “what-if’s” and “how come’s” and planning and worrying and overthinking and struggling for no good reason.  It’s what I do.  I really should sleep. 

However, I cannot get these thoughts to bail on my brain right now.  So, I share. 

 

My past has molded me into the delicate lady I’ve become.  The past was bad.  If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know that alcoholism laced my 20’s and I’ve maintained clean and soberness for nearly 4 years. 

Continue reading “Bloody Hell, I’ve Been Thinking Again…”

Year 30: We Can Do This

I have turned 30.  The newness of life slowly wearing away and leaving smears of lethargy, achy bones, repetition, and a general apathetic disposition in its place.  At least more so than in my past.  I’ve always been a bubbly, excited about nothing, obnoxious laugher who can charm the pants off most any man (or woman–yes that happened, BUT a story for another day) and live easy without plan or worry or fear for tomorrow.  When I get gifts for birthdays or Christmas, I get so excited I cry.  Again, I’m a feeler.  So this turn of events into disinterested, unenthused funk makes me confused.  This isn’t me.  How did I get here?

(No one explains the absurdity of life better than the one and only David Byrne, man) Continue reading “Year 30: We Can Do This”